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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Has This Day Already Come

Today isn’t very reflective of what I am feeling
The sun dances in and out of the clouds, the trees
And I, I sit here reeling
Has this day already come?

I understand the purpose of this long journey
I get that it is far bigger than you, far more than me
So that they can maybe be free
Has this day already come?

I try to untangle my head of thoughts, my heart of feelings
I try to forget the could be, stay positive with great memories
I pray for you to come home to me
Has this day already come?

The fact of the matter is that this all terrifies me
Living this life with out you, that possibility
I dawn a front so they can’t see
Has this day already come?

With all my might I pray that His will be
For swift and safe this treacherous voyage be
Your handsome face soon I can see
Has this day already come?

The sunset paints oranges beyond the trees reach
Reality sets in that only a few hours have we
Before what has to be will be
Has this day already come?

My love for you and faith in you, take heed
Know that I am with you every sight you see
I will wait for you to come to me.
When will that day come?

Monday, February 21, 2011

My Rock, My Love

And so the journey begins.  

I have a strange sense of calm about life at the moment.  I think it is because I was able to face all of the possibilities (the good and the bad) that can come from such an event with the one that I love.  He really is my rock in life.  Simply getting to spend a few days with him made all of this seem a tad bit easier, but alas, it is just the beginning.  

The trick, as I see it, it to stay positive and realistic as the same time.  I see how easy it is to become disillusioned in either direction.  You have to have faith that what ever happens is according to God's plan and be ready for whatever that is.  Past that, you have to keep busy.  For me that includes spending a lot of time with God, taking care of our family and home, and continuing to make our business a success, and finding positive, creative outlets.  It is simply staying busy. 

A little something I came up with on the plane home.  Hope you enjoy.

 I Will Wait For You

As I look out of this plane window
I see the lights of the anonymous city below
The yellow sheen breaks through the cloud bank
Like some long lost civilization beneath the wave break.
In the dark I see the steel bird’s shadow.

As I sit here we lie in the garden green
The wind pulls fragrance to us from the dancing trees
An August sunset we stand before our family, our friends
Two become one, always and forever, until eternity ends.
In the dark I relive the start of our legacy.

As I think over the hours just passed
Each memory speaks of our love destined long to last
I still hear the wind dance around us lost in your embrace
I still hear the ocean sing to us in rhythms, you kiss my face  
In the dark your love traces the distance vast.

As I see the ground come in to view
All I can think of is the perfect life created by two
About to be tested by time and the strife of a distant land
And all I can think of is how lucky I am to be loved by such a man
In the dark, my rock, my love, I will wait for you.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

My Real Life Fairy Tale

 We all have them and man has it been one of those days.  In theme with last nights blog, sometimes it takes a little shove in the right direction to pull your mood back into alignment.  There is nothing more fitting then reminiscing on how I met my prince charming and our fairy tale came to be.  So here we go ...

Once upon a time, there was a barmaid.  She was nothing spectacular.  Of average looking and  average intelligence, she worked hard and loved harder.  One ordinary day, a gentleman came and sat at her bar.  Earlier in the day a mishap had left a nasty gash on her finger and the gentleman offered to treat the wound in exchange for the barmaid having dinner with him.  Now this went against all of her better judgment, but there was something very different about this man.  It turns out he is a modern day prince charming: handsome, kind, romantic, and slays dragons in the middle east with an M-4.  She accepted his offer very cautiously.  He fixed her finger,they enjoyed dinner and talked throughout the evening, shared a spectacular good night kiss and parted ways. 

Fast forward two months.

The two decided to take a mini vacation together; get out of the city for a few days and get to know each other better without all of the distractions of everyday life.  Both were highly cautious, but extremely excited.  From the moment that they hit I-45 North, it seemed as though they were the lead characters being cast on the silver screen; it literally felt as though the sound track would be cued at any moment.  "If I had a million dollars" started to play on the radio and she turned up her nose.  "This is the most annoying song on the face of the Earth,"  she snarled.  "True,"  he responded, "but, really, who doesn't want a monkey?!?"

They spent a few days exploring the a new city via sights, sounds and tastes.  She bought him a stuffed monkey, because, really, who doesn't want a monkey? They enjoyed an afternoon laying on the perfect, kelly green grass of a promenade her head on his chest.  The cool breeze tossed around the fragrance from the blossomed trees and caused the modern sculptures to sing to them.  They experienced every word of a script written specifically for the two of them, the barmaid and the gentlemen.  Later that evening, at a show, she took a deep breath and grabbed his arm prepared to profess her feelings to him, but fear got the best of her and she managed an awkward smile.

The two traveled their home city for a final night in their adventure.  She wanted to show him one of her greatest passions - performing music.  She was used to singing to a large crowd.  She was able to hide behind the lights.  It would be the first time she would ever sing to one person.  The piano started and the crowed quietened.  Everyone in the room disappeared except for the prince.  The words came ... "25 years of my life and still" ... she had never felt so exposed and connected to someone.  Before she knew it the crowd gave their applause and the song was over.  The bar maid ran back to the prince, grabbed his face and told him how she felt about him.  In their chairs, on their knees, above everyone else and shared the most incredible kiss.  It was official ... he loved her and she loved him.

8 months to the day for which they left for their adventure they were married in a perfect, outdoor military ceremony.  She had officially become a princess and he her prince, always and forever.  I am truly grateful for my husband.  He is all that is good and pure in this world.  It is because of him that every moment of every dawn and thereafter I am blessed with a real life happily every after.

I hope that our story made you smile.  It improved my mood considerably.  I would like to pose a challenge to you.  Leave me a comment and tell me of your favorite moment with your spouse or significant other.  It can be funny or heartfelt.  I will pick a winner on Tuesday and send you something special :0 )  

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

All in a Days Work

I have to start out by saying that I was super flattered when Joan, a fellow Etsy shop owner, (Make Me Smile Crafts and BarbiesRUs), said that she was not a blog follower but would was intrigued by more story and intended on following it.  She stated that she had always been curious as to how military spouses handle the distance - this premise spurs the thought of the night.  

I am a huge fan of the premise of mental framing discussed in most intro psychology classes.  The basic gist behind it is that you choose your mental state and mood based on how you choose to react or feel about things that you do, that you witness or that happen to you.  According to this idea, it really is all in your frame of mind.  

Mind you I am not all military spouses so I can only speak for me and from my point of view, but this is how I deal with missing my best friend every second of everyday.

I choose to focus on the big picture.
My husband once told me that war brings out the real side of people.  Whether they are on the battle lines or the home front they will do one of two things - they will run or they will fight.  It all depends on how they view the situation.  To me, war is humbling.  It reminds me just how small I am.  There are so many in this world couldn't even dream of the daily pleasantries that I have and those who give them up for a moment in time so that maybe, one day those people might have the ability to have those liberties.  I choose everyday to be grateful for my circumstances and to be loved by a man who makes such sacrifices.  It is easy to feel sorry for oneself and to get caught up in missing the one you love.  I have to remind myself everyday that this is bigger than me.  It took me a long time to get to that point. 

I choose to take it a day at a time.
I find one thing everyday that reminds me of some perfect moment with my husband - a song, a smell, a shirt.  I count down the days until he comes back home to me.  I choose to believe that he is coming back home to me - period.  A day is much shorter than a year and much easier to face.

I choose to focus on what is important.
We get so caught up in the everyday happenings and dreaming of future greatness that it is easy to lose sight of what is important.   My husband is my heart and soul.  My family is my everything.  My dream is for us to all be back together and grow our family and build our legacy together.  Every second we get together, whether it be leave, an email, a phone call is more important than anything else that we have.  This washing machine will still be broken, the neighbors dog will still be knocking over the trash cans, the house will still need to be cleaned.  It all seems trivial when you look at the big picture.  I choose to put my husband and child before anything.  

What it all comes down to is perspective.  To him, it is just a job and it is business as usual.  So here at home we make it business as usual as it can be.  Choose to focus on the good and positive and you will find you are a much happier person.  Try to find the good in one not so good situation or a few and you will see what I mean.